Do you know what your face is telling the world?
Do you care?
Well you should care.
On the Internet world people are trying to tie up with a mate on Dating Sites. They post online resumes with their photos on Job Hunting Sites. Or they just want to make new friends on Facebook and Myspace. The common denominator is the person's photo.
But why is it that some people are so much more successful than others when it comes to posting a photo of themselves? There are several reasons why, but first let me start with this...
Probably the most important factor to ALWAYS remember is that when you post a photo of yourself on the Internet, it becomes PUBLIC DOMAIN! Anyone who sees your photo can downloaded it into their computer and do pretty much what they want with it. As such there are those famous stories of people sending in their resumes with their professional looking head shot only to forget those embarrassing beer party photos they posted showing things that should never have seen the light of day let alone Facebook or Girls Gone Wild. So never forget what you post in CYBER SPACE is there forever! What may seem funny today could haunt you for the rest of your life.
RESUMES: When it comes to adding your photo to an online resume, keep it very professional looking. Since many of these resumes are targeted towards a business environment dress accordingly...bankers should look like bankers (Example), chefs should look like chefs (Example), and people wanting to work in a surf board shop should look the part (Example).
Keep the background neutral or in keeping with the business and move the camera up towards your face. If you are going to include a photo of yourself with your resume then make sure your face takes up most of the frame.
It's very easy to see very good examples of very good photos of business people's faces...just go online to any business site and click on the company's management link. In many cases it will show you how the top dogs are dressed and what they look like. This is what you want to emulate.
DATING SITES:: Photos on dating sites are my pet peeve. You see my wife used to run her own dating site in Europe and it was very successful because she work one-to-one with all her clients. That type of service is very expensive today and almost all of you who use a dating site will never interact with the site's management team. That means that you will have to learn (hopefully from this blog) what it will take to get yourself a new mate.
Aside from your personal description, the thing that sets people apart on a dating site is their primary photo. Many people enjoy browsing through dating sites to see who is on there and what they look like. Even if you got a return of compatibilities from sites like eHarmony or Match.com you will still browse through the offering to see who catches your eye. Right?
As such if you want to be found in this huge field of players you have to provide a photo of yourself that will be seen at a glance. Something that needs to stand out from the herd so to say. To do that I offer some guidelines:
1. Use photos that clearly show your face. With digital cameras you can take a hundred shots and erase the bad ones so don’t skimp on taking a boat-load of photos. Use a tripod or have a friend take your photos. But don’t take your own photo bounced off a mirror, it looks really cheesy and especially if the flash goes off then you get a big glare spot.
2. Include a small collection of 5 to 7 photos showing your face and figure. Vary the back ground some inside and some outside. Show how you look dressed going to work and relaxing. Make it real. Never post old photos of how you looked a few years ago. Most digital cameras allow you to superimpose the date and you should include 1 or 2 photos with date just to show these are recent photos.
3. Never post photos of yourself standing next to someone else. It is a big turn-off to see an ex-partner or a bunch of people in the photo. And as much as you love your kids and pets, don’t post photos of yourself kissing your babies, your description will say if you have kids and if a potential mates does want to see your family it’s another nice way to start a conversation and email those family photos later.
4. Do your homework looking at photos other people have posted on the dating sites. This is your competition. Remember, that the primary photo you submit must be able to stand out from the crowd. Even if you’re not a perfect 10, your photos should be.
5. Finally, does your photo match your personal description? A pleasantly plump person who says they enjoy jogging on the beach just doesn’t seem right. Talk from the heart, be sincere and honest. Describe who you really are and not the person you want to be. If you have a close friend, have them give you an honest opinion of your selected photos and description, and don’t be afraid to edit and re-edit everything till it is as best as it can be. I am sure if you follow these simple guidelines you will have greater success on being found on the dating sites by the right mate for you.
If you read this far then you are interested in making a difference on how well your photos are received on the Internet. But after having worked with my wife with online dating and job search services since 1995, we found that people for the most part do not understand what other people really think about them as far as their photos are concerned. This is a psychological thing in how you look impresses other people of what they perceive about you.
As examples you may think of yourself as a fairly neat and tidy person, but your photograph says you look messy or you live messy. Or you know that you are only 28 years old, but your photo makes you look a lot older or younger as the case may be. Or you may be rich and well-off, but your photos says you live in a trailer. Or that you don't smoke and only drink socially, but your photo says you look like a smoker and alcoholic. Or that you really enjoy reading and quiet walks, but your photo says you look like you enjoy rap music and sky diving or vice versa. This list of mis-perceptions is endless.
This comes down to the crux of the matter...since you are who you are...but if your photos paint a different picture of your character, then you've got a big problem "selling" yourself on those job or dating sites. Inaccurate perceptions of you is the key to why you may not be getting that "right" job or finding that "soul mate".
Close friends and family may not always be your best bet for an honest answer. They may not want to hurt your feelings or they may not understand what you are trying to accomplish with your online photos. After all you are posting your photos online to find a job or a mate and that person to you is a stranger. Your family's perception of you is of course biased or tainted if you will. They know who you are and can relate or imply significant characteristics into your photos. A stranger looking at your photos has of course no idea who you really are.
As the human species we have been conditioned from birth to relate towards certain basic facial appearances as a way of self preservation. We understand a face that looks angry could mean trouble, and a face with a warm smile is comforting. No one would confuse a bunch of kids laughing till they cry with a child weeping because his pet died. We understand these facial signals are tied to emotions and they help us understand how we need to relate to one another...without saying a word.
Your online photo relates a tremendous amount of information about yourself without you ever having to say a word. If you ever caught an episode of that TV show called "Lie To Me", you understand that our faces can betray all sorts of significant information to people who are trained to pick up on these very subtle clues. Next time you fly have a look around the airport to spot the TSA agent looking over the crowd to catch a potential bad guy. But, even without this special training people always form opinions of us just by the way we look. It's just our human nature.
But then how can we control how other people perceive our photos? We can't, but we can learn what they think about us without having to interact with them. Really? How?
This is a problem that up till now has never been addressed on the Internet. My wife and I set out to figure out a way to create a new website that could give people a way to find out what others think about them and within an anonymous yet family friendly atmosphere. We created the website called: www.YouAboutMe.com.
You About Me is an interactive self-awareness and self-help site. Members post photos of themselves, select pre-loaded questions and/or create their own questions and answers. Users vote on the member's questions by selecting the best answer reflected in the member's photos.
So how will You About Me help me, you ask? Let me count the ways...
By understanding what your photograph and your face is saying to other people (complete strangers) you will begin to understand how well you are really relating your true self to the world. You might be shocked and surprised at what people really think about you. Or it may reinforce your self esteem to know that what people think about you is the real you.
If your photos are not telling the right story of who you are, it might be just a simple process of taking some more photos and trying You About Me again. But if you consistently get contrary results to who you think you are, then maybe its time you took a long, hard look at yourself.
You About Me can be used as a confidence builder or as a very useful tool to help you change your photos so that the potential employer or new mate will have a more truer understanding of who you really are.
We are always looking to refine You About Me and we welcome your crits and ideas. And we hope most of all you have a fun time using our site.
All the best to you.
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